In tumultuous times like these, one seeks comfort in old friends, or better still, finds solace in making new unexpected ones.

That’s what recently happened with me and Chuck, the cut of beef largely relegated to the grinder for burgers, and always overshadowed by the much more tender, easier to cook (and overcharge for) cuts such as ribeye and tenderloin.

To my surprise, when treated right, it is more forgiving to smoke than a brisket, more flavorful than a New York strip, and as tender as a filet.

Here is the easiest way to make it indoors.

1. Gather your ingredients

• 3-5 pound chuck roast, in one large piece

• 3 onions

• 6-8 cloves of garlic

• 1 cup of chicken stock

• 1 can of dark stout (NA works really well) - sub for chicken stock if not available

• Handful of dried chilies (optional but highly recommended)

• Chicken stock powder (optional)

• Salt, pepper, and 7 cardamom pods

• 2 cups of fine burghul, polenta, or any grain / short pasta you like

• Half stick of butter

2. Prep the ingredients

Soak the dried chilies in hot water for 10 minutes.

Quarter the onions.

Smash the garlic with the back of your knife to remove the skins.

Combine the garlic, a tablespoon each of salt and pepper with the chilies in their water and blend until smooth.

Pat the beef dry, apply salt and pepper liberally.

3. Sear the beef then cook it

Pre-heat your oven to 350°F.

Heat a cast iron Dutch oven on medium high until smoking.

Add a dab of olive oil, then sear the beef for 3-5 minutes on each side until you get a sensual brown color.

Set aside and drop the heat to medium.

Add the onions and cook for 5-8 minutes until they soften and slightly brown.

Place the beef on top of the onions, you can cut in half if the roast is too wide or unwieldy.

Top with the blended garlic chili mix, stock, and stout (if using).

The goal is to cover almost all the beef without fully submerging it.

Raise the heat to high until the mixture starts bubbling.

Cover and transfer to the oven.

Check after 2 hours, then every 30 minutes.

The longer you cook the better, but there is a limit.

Aim for tender fork and internal collagen melting temperature of ~200°F. Three hours is the longest I’ve needed.

Remove from the oven.

Use tongs to transfer the beef to a serving plate, then prepare to make a sauce.

4. Start the side dishes

Start this during the last hour of the beef cook.

Bring 3.5 cups of water to a boil, add a tablespoon of salt and a teaspoon of chicken stock powder to a pot.

Add the fine burghul with the water, bring everything to a boil over high heat, then drop the heat to medium low.

Cover and let cook for 15 minutes.

Uncover and start stirring.

You should have enough liquid to break down the wheat and create a creamy mixture, similar in consistency to thick polenta.

If it gets too thick, add a splash of water.

Keep stirring for 3-5 minutes, add a tablespoon of butter, stir, then cover and let rest.

I like this grain because it’s really easy to cook and mimics a lot of fancy undertones served in restaurants underneath the beef.

5. Make a quick sauce

I always discounted homemade sauces that aren’t gravy due to their elitism and undue process, also because I almost never have butter in the fridge.

But now I keep it there, because apparently cholesterol being bad for you was a big scam.

Run everything in the Dutch oven (other than the beef) through a sieve, squash the solids to release all the liquids.

Wipe your Dutch oven down, or use a clean saucepan.

Heat the filtered liquid on medium, stir in a tablespoon of butter, a splash of red wine vinegar (or a teaspoon of pomegranate molasses, another new discovery I made after experimenting with all my Ramadan leftovers).

When the liquid reduces by roughly a third, the sauce is ready.

Taste and make any final adjustments, or just pretend like you know what you’re doing.

Note: A table spoon of corn start stirred in water will also help thicken the sauce.

6. Eat!

Slice the beef into large pieces.

Spoon some of the burghul on a plate, top with the beef and pour some sauce over.

Serve with a side of greens, and eat with some good old friends.

7. Notes

• Chuck smokes really well too. I was surprised and impressed with how it turned out in the smoker

  

• Unlike a steak, it keeps well for a few days. Cover and keep in the fridge, reheat with some sauce and added water on medium until warm

• I’ve been meaning to write something non-food related, but eating has been a good comfort, and it’s much easier to write about. Maybe next post…

I still read my books in paperback. I tried every electronic format and can’t stand any of them. I prefer to order from Amazon or pick up at a store, place them on my bedside table, in my backpack, or other strategically placed locations, and pick them up when I’m ready to read. The convenience and weight arguments of the electronic form don’t work on me. I don’t travel with them if they’re more than 500 pages long, and my shoulder can still handle 3 ounces of extra weight.

Cookbooks fall squarely into that category — not only are the good ones fun to read, they are also aesthetically pleasing and contain at least 50% pictures, flipping through them still gives you a satisfying visual eye dump of inspiration that’s less of an affront to your senses than trying to find the recipe on YouTube.

Here are my favorites from across the years

Falastin

by Sami Tamimi & Tara Wigley

I found myself flipping through this while I stared out the snow-drenched window of my brother’s Canadian living room. It is Eid after all, and I’ve made my now-annual pilgrimage to the nation’s capital, to be with family and celebrate with lots of food.

This one is written by a Palestinian chef who intimately knows the lands, and whose claim to fame comes from working in and starting a couple of his own restaurants. He previously partnered with Yotam Ottolenghi to write and cook the many recipes of the conflict-laden geography in his first book titled Jerusalem.

In addition to the vast array of recipes and easy to follow instructions, the book is wrought with historical artifacts about my homeland, and has a great way of bringing out relevant aspects of the ongoing conflict without making you want to hurl the book away with anger.

I’ve also just discovered that there is in fact a (kind of) annual Palestine marathon that is forced to loop around itself twice due to Israeli movement restrictions.

Running this marathon is now an elusive goal I have set to accomplish in the next 1-5 years.

Americas Test Kitchen

by the Editors of Cook’s Illustrated Magazine

A tomb of information in all aspects. If there were a food engineering discipline, this would be its manifestation.

The book is currently on its 25th+ edition, I own the 15th, and have referred to it many times when I need a reminder of the proper way to do things and the best tools to employ. Their method is built on true experimentation mixed with trial and error, the goal is to find the most efficient form of the recipe with the appropriate effort to produce it.

There are episodes on PBS too which are fun to watch, and the bread version offshoot to their encyclopedia produced surprisingly good results during the covid lock down days.

The most surprising was the ease of creating a magnificently oversized pretzel. The hamburger buns were a close second—makes 8-14 at a time, which comes in handy when I have beef and am too lazy to go to the store to pick up some buns.

Cooking for Geeks

by Jeff Potter

Discovered on the coffee table of a good friend during a random visit to his temporary New Orleans career pit stop. I want to say that he gifted me a copy, but I’m not exactly sure. I will definitely hear about it after he receives this post.

This book explains the science of why things happen when you cook. It’s beneficial to feed your curiosity, but also helps you stop obsessively rechecking recipes to make sure you have the temperature right, or whether a meat needs browning or not.

It was also where I discovered the beauty and simplicity of fat emulsification, and have never bought a jar of mayonnaise since.

Meat Eaters Guide to Outdoor Cooking

by Steven Rinella

I’m neither a hunter nor an outdoorsman, and have yet to murder an animal for its meat — aside from the many unlucky live chickens I had to select for dinner on my grandma’s instructions when we visited Lebanon, for the lack of refrigeration, economical favorability, and delicious taste.

I do aspire to do these things one day.

Deer tops the list of animals to do this to, due to their abundance, and the vengeance I carry in my heart from the number of fruits and vegetables they have ruined during my growing years in California.

The author is a worthy woodsman, a skilled hunter, and a practical cook. Fire, fat, fresh protein, and salt is most of what he recommends, and it works well every time.

Red Hot Kitchen

by Diana Kuan

This one inspired my homemade hot sauce craze, and gave me the one thing I could grow that the damned deer won’t eat.

Since reading this, I’ve discovered the relative ease of making your own hot sauce from excess chilies, the importance of clearing at least a 50 ft radius from sensitive guests as you prepare these sauces, and criticality of wearing industrial grade gloves, and avoiding using the bathroom or touching your face for at least two hours and many deep soap cleansing sessions after any hot sauce making bouts.

It all came together with the bottling of my “Ass Burner 9000” sauce, a fiery combination of homegrown habanero, jalapenos, Thai chilis, and serranos.

Anything Anthony Bourdain

Author of Kitchen Confidential

While he’s best known for Kitchen Confidential rather than his cookbooks, that book was a blast to read, and his narration style is unique and as close to a Hunter S. Thompson chef version as it gets.

His show has been an inspiration for visits to cities I’d never been to, and restaurants I would have never found.

His excessive fame converted some of these establishments to tourist traps, thanks to social media crazed influencers and influencees, but his recommendations have always been based on first principles of quality, authenticity, and audacity.

Giada De Laurentiis

Author of Everyday Italian

Simple methods, well described, with ingredients you likely already own.

She was one of the early Food Network chefs, back when the channel was actually about cooking and not a cesspool of reality TV competitions and excessive use of mass population ‘food critics’ — I don’t really care what the average person thinks of the food they just ate. Just tell me how it’s made and let the experts speak.

I saw her randomly once on the streets of Manhattan when she was still single and not as famous as she eventually became. I did not stop her for lack of anything useful to say. I still look up her Italian recipes.

My Mamma

Last but definitely not least, this is the source of inspiration that started it all.

I started cooking at a young age because I liked to eat, and didn’t like relying on (or overpaying) others to do something I thought I could do.

It began with watching her fry eggs, then spending a few Christmas breaks away from the dreary Montreal winters in my college years, peeking into the kitchen after sleeping in, and asking the most popular question in any Palestinian household: “What are we eating today?”

While my mom shares my impatience and lack of empathy for those who are less informed, I am still able to translate her loose instructions to actionable items that produce tangible results, a skill that comes from my engineering background, and the many years I’ve spent in large complicated organizations, where my livelihood depended on figuring out what others did for their livings, and taking that and making it my own.

This is to her, and all the other Mammas who have fed me in their homes, and never failed to share their techniques while skeptically questioning my unorthodox interpretations and stubborn substitutions.

Happy (Middle Eastern) Mother’s Day and Eid Mubarak to all.

My grandma used to give this to babies when they were just a few months old. According to her, the edge of a teaspoon was enough to develop their taste buds and strengthen their immune systems.

We used to laugh at her.

But I think she was right. I don’t know anyone who grew up eating this and has food allergies.

People will ooh and ahh at an overpriced steak tartare at a fancy French restaurant, but turn their nose up at this version for its raw, unadulterated savagery.

Foodism at its finest.

In other circles, this is a coveted delicacy.
In our home this was a Ramadan staple.

Here’s how to make it.

1. Gather your ingredients

• 1 pound fresh ground lamb (shoulder or leg)*

• 150 grams fine burghul

• 1 small onion

• Cumin, paprika, salt, black pepper (optional: five-spice)

• Hot pepper paste (optional, but highly recommended)

• Fresh mint leaves

*Buy from a butcher you trust. Ask for a double grind — coarse first, then fine. Avoid supermarket lamb at all costs. You can substitute beef tenderloin, but it’s less satisfying.

2. Prep

Soak the burghul in warm water for at least 15 minutes. Rinse and drain thoroughly.

Quarter the onion and place it in a food processor.
Add a heaping teaspoon of each spice, a tablespoon of pepper paste, two mint leaves, and a splash of olive oil.

Blend into a fine paste.

If you are using tenderloin steak, chop it up finely then pulse in the food processor with 2 ice cubes until it forms a consistent paste.

3. Mix

Put on food-safe gloves — this gets messy.

Squeeze as much water as possible from the burghul and lightly salt it.

In a large bowl, combine the lamb, burghul, and spice paste.
Knead for 5–7 minutes until the mixture becomes smooth and dough-like.

Form into a ball, wrap tightly, and refrigerate for 30 minutes (optional, but it helps with texture).

4. Shape

Spread the mixture evenly in your nicest serving dish.

Use a fork to create the traditional ridges across the surface.

Garnish with mint leaves and toasted pine nuts.

5. Eat

Drizzle generously with olive oil.
Serve with pita bread, raw green onions, and radishes.

6. Notes

• Ratios: Variations are endless and mostly personal preference. The only non-negotiable is the quality of the meat. Adjust the burghul up or down depending on how “meaty” you want the texture to feel.

• Toppings: Buy extra lamb, fry some with olive oil and onions, and spoon it over the top.

• Leftovers: This is raw meat, so it will not keep well. If you don’t finish it the first day, cover tightly and bake at 350°F for 25 minutes for a different kind of meatloaf. You can also roll it into balls and deep fry.

Grinding chicken is a futile exercise, unless you have leftover filler, a food processor, and a YouTube video that convinced you this was a good idea.

Pair it with spiced rice and an open fire, though, and suddenly you’ve got a new take on peasant chicken that actually earns its keep.

1. Gather your ingredients

For the chicken

• 3 lb. boneless, skinless chicken (thighs or breasts)

• 2 carrots

• 2 celery stalks

• 1 medium onion

• 1 tbsp spicy red chili paste

• Cumin, turmeric, paprika, salt, black pepper

• Stale bread

For the rice

• 2½ cups basmati rice

• Pinch of saffron

• Salt and pepper

• 1 cinnamon stick, 3 cardamom pods, 2 bay leaves

• 1 tsp mixed peppercorns

• ½ lemon, seeded

• ½ cup pine nuts

2. Make the chicken kababs

Finely chop all the vegetables using a food processor, or by hand if you enjoy suffering.

Transfer to a mesh strainer and squeeze out as much liquid as possible.
Save the liquid if you’re disciplined; it can flavor the rice.

Cut the chicken into cubes, then pulse in the food processor with ½ tbsp salt until it resembles ground meat, just not as elegant.
Process the stale bread into crumbs (or use store-bought)

In a large metal bowl, combine:

• chicken

• spices

• breadcrumbs

• about half the vegetable mixture

I go by eye here, roughly a heaping teaspoon of each spice.

Wear protection and mix until fully incorporated.

Cover tightly and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.

Oil two chopsticks or skewers. Form a ball about half a fist in size and shape it around the stick.

There is no correct method.
Chicken is stickier than beef and deeply uncooperative. Do your best, or add more breadcrumbs if you want structure at the cost of joy.

Set aside on a plate.

3. Sear the chicken and start the rice

Light a charcoal grill (optional, but absolutely worth it).

Stack the coals tightly. Heat a cast iron pan slightly off to the side of the fire.

Sear the kababs for 5 minutes per side, then remove from heat.

Rinse the rice thoroughly and drain.

Bloom the saffron in 1 tbsp water.

Heat a large cast iron Dutch oven over medium-high. Toast the cinnamon, cardamom, peppercorns, and bay leaves for about a minute.

Add remaining chopped vegetables, saffron water, and rice. Stir for a few minutes.

Add 3¾ cups water, bring to a boil, press the lemon half face-down into the rice, then nestle the seared kababs on top.

4. Cook everything

Move the coals to opposite sides of the grill to create an indirect heat zone.

Place the pot in the center, cover, add a few coals on top of the lid, and close the grill.

Cook for ~25 minutes.

Remove from heat and keep covered for another 15 minutes.

No grill?
Cook in a 400°F oven for the same time, then rest for 15 minutes.

Toast pine nuts in butter over medium heat until golden.

Remove the kababs, fluff the rice, and transfer to a serving platter.

Return kababs on top. Finish with pine nuts and chopped parsley (which I always forget).

5. Eat

Serve with roasted cauliflower:

• tear florets by hand

• toss with olive oil

• roast at 375°F for 25 minutes

No sauce required.
You’ve suffered enough.

Bedouins got a lot of things right.

They have land without fences, live largely unbothered by the elements, and animals that serve as both transport and sustenance.

They also gave us one of the most resilient and remarkable dairy products ever devised: jameed.

Born out of necessity, these dried, fermented yogurt stones preserved sheep’s milk long before refrigeration, additives, or marketing departments. Pound for pound, they’re worth more than their weight in gold.

If a Jordanian feast isn’t in your immediate future, this is how you make the real thing at home.

1. Gather your ingredients

• 6 pounds bone-in lamb
  Shoulder, thigh, shanks, or a mix. Ask your Middle Eastern butcher to cut them into medium-sized pieces. Your whole foods wont have this.

• 1 rock (400–500 g) Karaki jameed1

• 4 large sheets very thin bread
  Saj, lavash, or markook. Middle Eastern stores will carry this, and sometimes Trader Joes.

• 1-2 cup mixed nuts
  Slivered almonds, cashews, pine nuts

• ½ cup ghee (or butter)

• 3 cups basmati rice

• Pinch of saffron and a little turmeric

• Whole spices
  6 cardamom pods, 2 cinnamon sticks, peppercorns, 1 dried lemon (optional)

• 5 garlic cloves, 1 large onion

2. Cook the meat

Note: I avoid salting until the end—jameed brings plenty of salt on its own.

Place the lamb in a large pot, cover with cold water, and bring to medium-high heat.

After about ten minutes, skim off the foam with a slotted spoon.

Add cardamom, cinnamon, peppercorns, dried lemon (if using), garlic, and onion.
Lower to medium-low and simmer gently for 2–2½ hours.

The meat is ready when a fork slides through without resistance.

Remove the lamb and set aside on a large plate.

Strain and reserve 4 cups of filtered stock.

3. Prepare the jameed

The goal is to turn the stone into a smooth, yogurt-based cooking liquid.
Rough ratio: 4 parts liquid to 1 part jameed. One pound yields about 2.5 liters.

Soak the jameed overnight in water. In the morning, change the water and continue soaking until cooking time. Countertop soaking is fine.

Break the softened stone into pieces and blend with its soaking water until completely smooth.

In a large pot, add:

• 4 cups reserved lamb stock

• 4 cups water

Heat over medium-high while stirring constantly.

DO NOT LET IT BOIL.
If it boils, the solids separate, and you’ll have a crisis on your hands2.

When it reaches a gentle simmer, check texture. It should coat the back of a spoon—creamy, not gluey, never thin or soupy.

If it’s too loose, raise the heat slightly and stir until excess liquid evaporates.

Add the lamb, reduce heat to low, cover, and cook for ~20 minutes.

Finish with 1 tablespoon ghee or butter.

The hard part is done.

4. Make the rice (in parallel)

Start this halfway through the lamb’s final simmer.

Rinse the basmati until the water runs mostly clear.

(Optional but recommended) Bloom the saffron in warm water for a few minutes.

Melt ghee or butter in a pot over medium heat. Add the rice and stir for a few minutes until coated and fragrant.

Add 4½ cups water, bring to a boil, then reduce to low, stir, cover, and simmer for ~15 minutes, or until all the water is absorbed.

Remove from heat and let rest, undisturbed, for at least 20 minutes.

5. Garnish and assemble the mound

Remove the meat from the jameed and set aside.

Toast the nuts in a small pan with 1 tablespoon ghee or butter until golden. Remove immediately, nuts turn on you fast.

On a large, preferably circular serving tray:

• Lay down two layers of thin bread

• Spoon a few ladles of jameed sauce directly onto the bread

• Mound the rice in the center

• Arrange the meat around and over the rice

Ladle generously with more jameed, then scatter the toasted nuts on top.

Pour the remaining sauce into a serving bowl.

Cover the mound with the remaining bread.

Carry it out, seat your guests, then remove the top layer to reveal the magic of your creation.

6. Eat

Offer shot glasses of jameed to your most honored guests.

Scoop rice, bread, and meat together. Add more sauce. Always more sauce.

Eat, then plan to hibernate for at least three hours.

Sometimes you realize that all you need to cook with fire is some fuel and the willingness to burn things in a semi-controlled environment.

And sometimes you watch people doing this on TV and suddenly think, “I can do that too.”

Twenty minutes later, you’re at Home Depot, calling a friend, and having an argument with ChatGPT about how angled stones can never make a straight line without leaving gaps. It insisted. I disagreed. Home Depot Keanu Reeves confirmed.

That was the last straw.

I’ve since switched to Gemini and haven’t looked back, at least it can seamlessly access my Google Photos folder while comfortably regurgitating humanity’s midpoints back to me.

This is how I ended up with some of the best-tasting chicken of my life.

1. Gather your ingredients

For the fire pit & fire

• 16 fire-rated retaining wall stones

• Two 60 lb bags of gravel

• One shovel

• One strong friend to help you lug stones from the truck

• One chimney full of high-quality charcoal

• Wood with good smoke quality (cedar, oak, or birch from your land, or store-bought firewood)

• One metal grate and lid from your Weber kettle

For the BBQ chicken

• One whole chicken

• ¼ cup zaatar

• 1 cup olive oil

• 2 tablespoons hot chili paste (ideally delivered by hand from an aunt who lives in Lebanon)

• One squirt ketchup (optional)

• 5 cloves garlic

• Salt

2. Prep the chicken

Refer to this post to flatten your chicken — you only need to get to the part where it’s splayed flat.

In summary: cut out the backbone with shears, lay the chicken flat, then push down with your palms like you’re giving it CPR to crack the breastbone. Cut down the middle of the breast to split it in two for easier maneuvering.

Salt the chicken liberally.

Crush the garlic cloves and mix all the sauce ingredients in a bowl. Slather the chicken using a brush, starting on the skin side.

Cover with plastic wrap and let sit in the fridge for at least an hour, ideally overnight.

3. Build the pit and light the fire

Dig out roughly half a foot of dirt in a 4×4 ft area, or larger if you enjoy digging like I do.

Lay the first layer of stones in a circle to mark your territory and make sure you like the location.

Remove the stones and lay down the gravel.

Flatten with a tamper (or your feet) to create as level a surface as possible.

Re-lay the first layer of stones, then the second.

Bang down on them to pretend you’re making them more level.

Finish by redistributing gravel as needed and embellishing the pit with random ornaments the previous homeowner left lying around.

Spend the entire next day clearing all dead shrubs within a 20-ft diameter of the pit.

Light a chimney of coals and dump it into the pit, this is a good cheat to avoid waiting for logs to burn down to embers.

Spread the coals evenly on one corner of the pit, leaving a cool side, and lay a couple pieces of wood on the other.

The burning wood will be the hottest part. Wait for the smoke to subside and don’t cook directly over it unless you really know what you’re doing (this is how I burned one side of my chicken).

The coal side is your normal cooking zone.

The empty side is where you move the thing you just burned to cool down.

Place your kettle grill grate over the pit and prop it up with bricks if needed (ideally, buy a larger grate that fits your pit, this is still a work in progress).

4. Cook the chicken

If you avoid the raging side with the burning log, this behaves like a normal charcoal cook, just with more character.

Dripping chicken fat produces beautiful smoke that seasons the meat, while the smoking log adds even more flavor.

Keep the chicken skin-side up throughout the cook and stay close in case of flare-ups.

Once things stabilize, cover with your kettle dome to speed up cooking and circulate the smoke.

Start checking temperatures around 30 minutes. This won’t be an even fire, some parts will cook faster than others.

Use large tongs to rotate the chicken and even things out.

When most parts read >170°F, it’s ready.

Remove from heat and let rest for 5–10 minutes.

5. Eat

Serve with potatoes and vegetables.

Eat the burnt parts first, the rest are just leftovers.

It’s no coincidence that my 100th post marks the birth of a new era — one where large, unassuming birds become delicious through the last frontier of cookery: dousing them in boiling oil.

The ingredients are simple, the methods logical, but the consequences of error are grave.

Do it right and you’ll be rewarded with succulent meat and the inevitable thought: why have I waited so long to do this?

Mess it up and you might end up homeless, arguing with an uncooperative insurance company, and surrounded by a very hungry, angry family.

1. Safety First

Watch the reels of everyone who burnt their houses down attempting this. Marvel at the absurdity of the human race, then do not repeat their errors.

Do this outside, far from anything flammable, including pets, children, and intrusive family members.

Buy a fresh turkey. If you must use frozen, defrost it in the fridge at least four days before.

I strongly recommend against frozen turkeys for safety and for proper dry brining.

Buy a frying kit from a reputable source with a strong burner, at least 40,000 BTU. Make sure it includes a turkey rack or basket, a lifting hook, and a functioning thermometer.

Verify the thermometer works by dipping it in boiling water. Better yet, use your own trusty meat or infrared thermometer.

Buy 12–14 inch, 900°F+ heat-proof, water-resistant gloves. Your hands will be close to very hot oil at least once. They’re also great for handling the bird when it’s done.

Safety glasses help when lowering and retrieving the turkey.

Hot oil in the eyes hurts.

Always switch off the flame when lowering or retrieving the turkey.

If you forget, it will be at the exact moment you get splashed, the turkey slips from your hands, and oil lands on the burner. Then all hell breaks loose.

Don’t forget this.

Make sure the turkey is bone dry before lowering. Dry brining helps.

Take it out of the fridge 90 minutes before showtime and stand it up on the turkey stand.

Pat the inside dry with paper towels and make sure you removed any stray giblet bags (I deep fried mine).

Keep a fire extinguisher and a reliable friend close by.

2. Gather Your Ingredients

• 14–16 lb. turkey

• Salt, pepper, za’atar (optional)

• ~15 liters of vegetable, peanut, or canola oil

3. Two Days Prior: Displacement Test + Dry Brine

To figure out exactly how much oil you need, put the turkey in your fryer pot and fill it with water until the turkey is covered. Mark the water level with tape.

Empty the water into a large measuring container if you have one, just to double-check.

That volume is the amount of oil you need.

For a 14 lb turkey in a 30 qt stock pot, you’ll need roughly 14 liters of oil.

Remove the turkey from the wrapper and pat it extremely dry.

Mix four tablespoons of salt with one tablespoon each of pepper and za’atar. (I’m trying to be accurate, but you basically need enough salt to coat the turkey.)

Rub the mixture all over the turkey, including under the wings and behind the thighs. Throw a couple of pinches into the cavity.

Place the turkey on a metal rack set over a baking sheet and let it sit uncovered in the fridge for 48 hours. (Twenty-four hours is the minimum; up to three days is great.)

This is how you dry brine a turkey: the skin dries, the salt penetrates deep into the meat, and everything becomes extremely delicious.

4. Day Of: Heat the Oil and Cook the Bird

Set up your fryer outside, far from any building.

Fill the pot with oil to your marked level.

Light the burner and stay close.

If you’re using a feeble 35,000 BTU burner like mine and the weather is ungodly cold, this will take about 45 minutes.

Check the temperature every few minutes. Once you reach 350–375°F, it’s time.

Kill the heat. Put on long sleeves and safety gear, hook the turkey, do a test lowering on your table to make sure everything is stable, then cautiously lower the turkey into the oil.

You may get vigorous bubbling. Stay calm and continue lowering until you can’t lower any further.

If you see violent eruptions (oil too hot, turkey too wet), lift the turkey back out. Check your temperature, pat the turkey dry, and try again.

If it happens again, tell your guests dinner will be late and roast the turkey in your oven at 325°F for four hours.

If all goes well, switch the burner back on and let the oil rise to 325–350°F.

Cover the pot, leaving a small crack for steam to escape.

It should take about 3 minutes per pound. Start checking temperature after ~35 minutes.

Breast at 160°F and legs at 175°F = done turkey.

This never works cleanly in real life. Between splashing oil, difficult cavities, and finicky thermometers, your readings will be all over the place.

If you see readings above 175°F in multiple spots, the turkey has been in for 45+ minutes, and the skin looks nicely browned, it’s done.

If unsure, leave it in for another 5 minutes.

The beauty of deep frying is that nothing gets dry — it just gets extra crispy.

5. Rest the Turkey and Eat

Let the turkey rest for ~20 minutes with loosely tented foil. (Do not cover tightly; the steam will soggify the skin.)

Carve the turkey. Give one drumstick and one wing to your favorite guest(s) and keep the others for yourself.

Eat and be thankful for the magnificence of heat and oil.

6. Notes

Transporting the Bird

If you’re transporting the turkey to foreign lands, you can use an ice box.

Pour boiling water into the box to warm it up, dump the water, and wipe it dry.

Line it with paper towels and foil. Place the turkey gently on top. You may need to break a limb or two if your ice box is small.

Vent steam every 10 minutes by opening and resealing the lid. Do this at traffic lights or delegate to a trusty passenger.

Reusing Oil

You can reuse the oil at least once, maybe twice, and thrice if you’re frugal and don’t mind slightly stinky food.

Wait for it to cool completely, then pour it into a large container through a sieve. Seal tightly and store in a cool, dark place.

Other Uses

You can deep fry a chicken the same way, and you can throw in skewers of quartered potatoes and onions or anything else that tastes good fried.

Lamb has a bad rap in North America.

It’s typically avoided because of its "gamey" flavor and comical appearance. It also doesn’t lend itself well to the undercooked glory of its beefy counterpart.

Despite the fluffy exterior, sheep move around a lot.

Their relatively muscular bodies need long cooking times under fiery conditions to render the meat tender and take advantage of all those fatty interconnections.

This is one of my favorite simple dishes.

1. Gather your ingredients

• 4–6 lamb shanks (1 per person)

• 1 lb couscous

• 1 large can of tomatoes

• Tomato paste

• 2 medium onions

• 8–12 cloves of garlic

• 3 cups chicken stock

• 1 can chickpeas

• Cumin, paprika, salt, and pepper

• Handful of dried spicy chilies (optional)

2. Prep and braise the shanks

Braising is just a fancy way of saying “cook for a long time in a tasty liquid.”

Start by heating a Dutch oven on medium-high with a splash of olive oil.

Pat the shanks dry with paper towel, then salt liberally.

Cook the shanks for 7–10 minutes total, flipping halfway to brown both sides. Set aside.
Tip: work in batches, don’t overcrowd the pot.

Quarter and peel the onions, and smash the garlic free.

Drop the onions in, stir for a few minutes, then add the garlic cloves.

Lay the shanks on top of the onions.

Cover with the canned tomatoes and chicken stock.

Add a tablespoon each of salt and tomato paste, and a teaspoon each of cumin, paprika, and black pepper.

If the liquid doesn’t submerge the shanks, top off with hot water.

Drop in the chilies to make the dish worthy.

Cook on high for a few minutes until the liquid starts bubbling.

Set your oven to 350°F, cover the pot, and place it in the oven.

Cook for a total of 2.5–3 hours. The longer the better.

At the 2-hour mark, add the chickpeas and top off the liquid if needed.

If you’re not in a rush, leave it for another hour and it’ll be perfect.

If you are, check in 30 minutes, a fork should glide through the meat.

Remove from the oven and let rest covered for at least 15 minutes (it will be piping hot).

3. Make the couscous (in parallel)

Prepackaged couscous is easy.

In a pot, combine couscous with boiling water (typical ratio is 1.33:1 liquid to solid). Simmer on low for 15 minutes, let sit for another 15 minutes, then uncover and fluff with a fork or tongs.

I like to embellish by starting with chopped onions, garlic, and olive oil (plus lots of salt), and use chicken stock for extra flavor.

4. Eat!

Remove the shanks from the sauce with tongs and a large serving spoon and arrange on a serving plate

Serve each shank on a bed of couscous and spoon over the excess braising liquid.

Goes great with hummus and a pile of greens on the side.

5. Notes

• Vary the meat. Shoulder, thigh, beef brisket, stewing beef—this method works well with any tough cut.

• Any grain you like. Couscous is technically tiny pasta balls. Substitute with rice, bulgur, or whatever grain you have in the cupboard.

• Break the bones. Smash them with a mallet to access the delicious marrow. It will make your skin glow.

The best meals are the unplanned ones, with ingredients you happen upon deep in your cupboards or down a surprise Costco aisle.

With the so-called “Liberation Day” impending and now well behind us, I had to make something fitting for the occasion.

Wagyu cows aren’t as special as their elitist Kobe counterparts, but they enjoy similarly stress-free environments and can be raised and bred in other countries, hence their global proliferation.

It probably wasn’t a coincidence that Costco stocked “American Wagyu” in the wake of Liberation Day. I picked some up, added a pack of full-bodied shrimp, and sent out the invite call for BBQ and cards.

Here’s how to make it all.

1. Gather your ingredients

• Tariff-free American Wagyu steaks (or the original, if your wallet allows)

• 3 pounds of unshelled shrimp

• 1 pound of tubed pasta

• 5 eggs

• 2–3 medium-sized tomatoes

• Two lemons, juiced

• Frozen peas (optional)

• Slivered almonds (optional)

• 1 pound of Asparagus (optional)

• Olive oil, salt, pepper, and other seasonings

2. Make the macaroni salad

This is a good salad because it’s delicious, has nothing in it that’s actually good for you, and isn’t very hard to make.

Boil the pasta two minutes less than the recommended time. Steam the peas in a strainer suspended over the pot for the last three minutes.

Then drain everything in a colander and run it under cold water to cool.

Toast the almonds for 3–5 minutes in a small pan with olive oil over medium heat until golden brown.

Boil and peel the eggs (refer to this post for proper instructions), then chop them into bite-sized chunks.

Mix the pasta with chopped tomatoes, onions, salt, half a cup of olive oil, half a cup of lemon juice, and cracked pepper. Top with the eggs.

Cover and refrigerate for a couple of hours.

3. Clean and marinate the shrimp

Follow the process in this post to de-vein the shrimp without discarding the shell — create a slit from the base of the head, then slice through to expose the back and remove the effuse. Rinse under cold water.

When you’re done, mix some lemon juice, olive oil, salt, and lots of chopped garlic in a bowl. Add your favorite hot sauce or chili paste if you like it spicy. Toss in the shrimp, mix well, then cover and refrigerate for at least an hour.

4. Light the fire and cook

This is the easiest part.

Build a pile of hot coals (refer to this post for instructions), or light two (out of three) of your gas burners on high.

Cook the steaks covered on the hot side for 3–4 minutes per side, then transfer to the cold part for another 2–4 minutes. These are very tender, so they need minimal cooking time — as long as you build a good crust, the inside will be edible and delicious.

Measure with a meat thermometer to be sure: 130–135°F for medium rare.

Let the steaks rest on a warm plate, then cook the shrimp.

Grill over hot coals for 2–3 minutes per side, until pink, opaque, and nicely charred.

Coat the asparagus with olive oil and char for a few minutes.

5. Eat!

Pile everything together and serve with the macaroni salad.

Likely born out of laziness as a shortcut for hummus (a laborious process before the miracle of power blenders), this dish is to chickpeas what the cheeseburger is to meat—a bold and effortless fusion of essential elements.

It’s easy to make, magically flavorful, and traditionally vegetarian.

This version, however, proudly defies that tradition.

1. Gather your ingredients

• 1 lb. ground beef

• 1 lb. yogurt

• 1/4 cup tahini

• 1/2 cup lemon juice

• 1 can chickpeas

• 2 cloves garlic

• 2 tablespoons pine nuts

• 3 tablespoons Olive oil

• Salt, pepper, cumin, and paprika

2. Toast the bread and cook the chickpeas

Cut the pita into small squares (roughly 2”), sprinkle some olive oil, and bake at 400°F for 6-8 minutes until golden brown. Watch closely as they tend to burn quickly.

Simmer the chickpeas in 1 liter of water with a clove of garlic, a tablespoon of salt, and a teaspoon of cumin for 20 minutes.

3. Cook the meat and make the sauce

Heat a tablespoon of olive oil in a frying pan on medium and cook the chopped onions for 5 minutes until translucent.

Add the ground beef, increase the heat to medium high and break up with a wooden spoon, cook until browned through, roughly 10-15 minutes.

Crush a clove of garlic, mix with lemon juice, yoghurt, and tahini until incorporated and smooth. Lighten with water or lemon juice if it’s too thick.

4. fry the pine nuts and layer the dish

Begin the stack.

Layer the toasted pita, then the chickpeas, then the meat. Add a quarter cup of the chickpea cooking liquid, then top with the yogurt sauce.

Fry the pine nuts on medium high in olive oil, remove from heat as soon as pine nuts are golden brown, and dump directly onto the yogurt layer.

5. Eat!

Sprinkle with paprika and chopped parsley (optional).

Serve and devour.

6. Notes

• Warm up the yoghurt sauce on stove top for a few minutes if you prefer a hotter experience.

• Adjust the ratio of tahini to yogurt. More tahini = creamier and more intense.

• Cook the pine nuts in ghee for an extra dose of fatness and flavor.

• You really can skip the meat, there’s no shame in that.

Sometimes one ends up with an abundance of tahini from fear of inability to make hummus on demand, and sometimes one wants to eat white fish with some character.

Luckily, these two make a great combo.

With this recipe, you’ll never look at white fish the same way.

1. Gather your ingredients

For the main dish:

• 2lb white fish fillets (Halibut, Cod, Tilapia, or any other white fish filet)

• 1lb tub of creamy tahini

• 1 clove garlic

• 1 hot pepper, chopped (optional)

• 2 tablespoons pine nuts

• 1 tablespoons lemon juice

• Salt and paprika

• Olive oil

For the side dish :

• Equal quantity of Brussel sprouts and yellow potatoes

• Olive oil

• Salt

2. Make the tahini sauce and prep the fish

Chop the garlic and hot pepper finely, or crush in a mortar and pestle.

Mix with a table spoon of lemon juice.

In a large measuring cup or bowl, mix the tahini with the garlic / lemon blend, then start the process of smoothing the sauce.

Add lemon juice and hot water progressively, stir, taste, and repeat until you get a creamy and well incorporated mix.

You will need roughly the same amount of water & lemon juice mix as tahini.

Season with salt, give it a final stir and set aside.

Slice the fish into 3 inch wide filets, pat dry and apply salt and paprika liberally to both side.

Pour two tablespoons of olive oil on a fancy baking dish and line up the fish, leaving some space between them.

3. Cook the potato Brussel sprout mix

Brussel sprouts are horrible if steamed or overcooked, but are amazing when roasted to a crisp.

They also cook at the same pace as potatoes so this makes a good mix.

The key is to chop them in halves and increase the surface area, and douse them with lots of olive oil and salt.

Roast or air fry at 375°F for roughly 25 minutes.

Give them a shake half-way, and roast in 5 minute increments until they are light brown and charred on the outside.

Keep uncovered in a warm oven (or cook in parallel with the fish if you have two ovens).

4. Prepare the garnish and bake the fish

Heat 2-3 tablespoons of pine nuts with an equal amount of olive oil in a small pan on medium for 2-3 minutes.

Watch closely as they burn fast, remove from the heat when half are golden brown and set aside.

Bake the fish for ten minutes at 375°F. Remove from the oven, stir the tahini sauce and pour it over the fish, increase the temperature to 425°F and bake for another 5 minutes.

5. Eat!

Dump the pine nuts onto the baked fish and garnish with chopped parsley.

Plate the fish, pour extra tahini sauce, put some potatoes and Brussel sprouts on the side, squirt some lemon juice and a final dash of salt, and eat!

6. Notes

• Deep fry the fish. For an unhealthier version, deep fry the fish and use the tahini sauce as a dip. This works better with skin-on pieces of smaller fish. Dust with flour before frying.

• Skip the Brussel sprouts. Roast the potatoes solo, or skip altogether and eat with pita bread and some salted cucumbers on the side.

• Spice up the sauce. Mix in hot sauce for a spicy tahini, and remember, it goes on everything!

I’ve been making hummus and other ‘Mediterranean’ appetizers more often since my mom visited. They’re easy to make and very delicious.

I thought I’d share a few recipes to commemorate the cease-fire in Gaza. Hopefully, this one lasts.

This hummus recipe is an easier upgrade to my previously released version, I’ve also included the method to baba ganouj (بابا غنوج) — a great dish with a terrible name.

Ganuj roughly means spoilt and baba means father. It’s meant to depict the dish’s soft, creamy texture in the light of a spoilt fatherly figure. The name caught on in the west because it sounds as silly as its meaning — for the record, we call it “Batinjan mutabal”, which means spiced eggplant. A more literal and respectable representation.

There’s also a recipe for labneh — a pocket friendly version of yoghurt, and quick no-rise bread recipe, for the days when you run out of bread but happen to have flour and don’t want to endure a run to the store or a lengthy yeast rising.

The resulting bread is dense, surprisingly flavorful, and hard to swallow — just like life.

1. Gather your ingredients

For the hummus

• 2 cans chickpeas (2 pounds)

• 2 cloves garlic

• 1/4 cup Tahini (approximate)

• 2 tablespoons olive oil

• 1 juiced lemon

• Baking powder

• Salt

For the Baba ganouj (بابا غنوج)

• 2 medium size eggplants

• 1/4 cup tahini

• 2 cloves garlic, crushed

• 3 tablespoons olive oil

• Lemon juice

• Salt

For the labneh

• 1 tub full fat yogurt

• Coffee filter paper

• Salt

For the quick bread

• 1.75 cups flour

• 1 cup warm water

• 1 table spoon olive oil

• Salt

2. Prep everything

Boil the chickpeas in a pot of salted water for 30 minutes, add half a teaspoon of baking powder to soften the skin.

Reserve a cup of liquid, then strain the chickpeas and set aside.

Heat a cast iron pan until smoking hot, and cook the eggplants. Rotate every few minutes to cover all sides. Don’t worry about the skin burning, you want a smoky pan to char the eggplants.

Continue to rotate until the eggplant collapses from its softness, roughly 20 minutes.

Set aside and let cool.

3. Make the hummus

Place the chickpeas, garlic cloves, olive oil, and a teaspoon of salt in the food processor.

Run for five minutes until everything is incorporated.

Start adding the tahini, roughly a tablespoon at a time. Pour in a splash of lemon juice, then run the food processor for another minute.

Repeat this process for 2-3 times, until your hummus reaches a creamy, yoghurt-like texture.

Taste as you go and add salt and lemon juice until it tastes right. Give it a last spin then let it sit for at least 15 minutes.

Serve on hummus plate and garnish with olive oil and paprika.

4. Make the Baba Ganuj

Peel the burnt skin and scoop out the inside of the eggplant into a large bowl. Discard any large clumps of seeds to minimize tingly tongue in the final product.

Add the olive oil and salt, and mash the eggplants with a fork and knife until it gets nice and mushy.

Mix in the tahini and lemon juice, a table spoon at a time until it’s incorporated.

Repeat until the mixture turns creamy, the texture will be rougher than hummus but that’s ok.

Salt to taste, and garnish with olive oil to serve.

4. Make the labneh

Labneh is essentially yogurt with the whey removed, resulting in a thicker texture and a tangy, concentrated flavor perfect for spreading.

All you need is a tub of full fat yoghurt and some filter paper. Wet the paper, line it on a sieve, add some salt, then cover in the fridge for 24 hours and let gravity do some work.

Garnish with chopped olives and olive oil and eat with bread or crackers.

5. Make quick bread

Combine the flour with a table spoon each of salt and olive oil in a large bowl.

Gradually add the water, mixing it with your hand to incorporate.

Keep adding water slowly and kneed the mixture with your hands. The flour will keep absorbing water as you add it.

When you start seeing a consistent mixture forming, stop adding water and work the flour by pushing on it with your palm and rotating for a few minutes.

There’s no right way to do this — just apply pressure and fold the dough on itself until a ball forms.

Cover and let rest for 30 minutes.

Cut the dough in half and flatten.

Use a rolling pin, or flatten with your hand by rolling vertically like a turning a steering wheel and flipping from palm to palm, until the dough is a quarter inch thick.

Heat a cast iron pan to medium high, add a tablespoon of olive oil.

Cook the bread for 2-3 minutes until lightly browned, then flip and cook for another 2-3 minutes.

Let cool, then use to eat everything you cooked.

6. Notes

• Hummus and mutabbal will keep for a few days in the fridge when covered tightly with plastic wrap. To revive, mix in some of the preserved chickpea water or a splash of water with lemon and stir before serving.

• Cook the bread with a lot more olive oil for an unhealthy treat, heat on medium first then cook the dough. It makes a half-assed no-rise focaccia.

• Use the strained whey from the yoghurt in soups or protein shakes, or anywhere you need a tangy protein-rich liquid.

This was supposed to be my year-end post, and it quickly devolved to the unhealthiest recipe I could think of.

The year it not over yet, and I am not in the mindset to review hundreds of days of memories. Unless you’re plagued with lactose or gluten intolerance, you definitely love mixing cheese with pasta and will enjoy this recipe.

Here’s how I made this for the Thanksgiving / mayhem cutting board inauguration feast.

1. Gather your ingredients

The key to a good mac and cheese is to have enough cheese. Milk makes a good base for a solidifying filler.

There is no correct ratio, roughly a pound of cheese per liter of milk, or whatever you have in your fridge.

• 3 liters of milk, ideally full fat.

• 3 pounds of cheese. I used a mix of mozzarella, cheddar, and American cheese. Pre-shredded packs on sale are best.

• 5 table spoons all purpose flour

• 1 cup each of grated parmesan and mozzarella for garnish

• Two 1 lb. boxes of elbow macaroni, or any tubular pasta

• 1 box of panko (or regular) breadcrumbs

• 2 sticks (8 ounces) of butter

• 1 large onion

• 2 cloves of garlic

• Olive oil

• Salt and pepper

2. Cook the pasta

Follow the directions on the box, decrease the cooking time by a couple of minutes.

Remember to salt the water liberally as it gets to a boil.

Dump the pasta into a colander and wash with cold water to stop the cooking.

Sprinkle some olive oil or butter, and set aside.

3. Cook the onions

Chop the onion and garlic.

Cook on medium heat in a saucepan with a table spoon of olive oil, until translucent and slightly browned, roughly 10 minutes.

Set aside.

3. Make the cheese sauce

Thicken the milk before melting the cheese.

To do this, you need to make a roux (my least favorite word after moist).

A roux is just flour melted in fat, traditionally butter. You can also use vegetable or olive oil.

Chop the butter into cubes, and melt slowly on low heat in a large pot.

Sift the flour slowly and stir into the mixture, one table spoon at a time.

When the mixture creates a slurry-like structure, slowly pour in the milk, and stir vigorously to incorporate the roux into the milk.

It takes 2-3 cups of milk for the entire mixture to dissolve.

If clumps form, its not the end of the world.

If nothing dissolves (highly unlikely) something got messed up. Use an immersion blender to atone for your mistakes.

Now comes the annoying part, you want to heat the milk without scorching the bottom or making it boil.

Use medium/ high heat, and stir continuously, do not stop until the milk starts steaming and it feels and looks thicker, at least to mayo-like consistency.

Drop all the cheese in, and stir until everything melts.

Add the cooked onions and stir to incorporate.

The cheese sauce is ready.

4. Combine everything and bake

Line two large baking dishes with some butter or olive oil.

Dump the pasta into the pot of cheese sauce, and stir until everything gets incorporated.

Pour out the pasta into the baking sheets, you want a thick layer of at least 2 inches. You can use one extra-large baking dish if it’s deep enough. Make wise choices.

Cover with mozzarella then top with panko or bread crumbs, splash some olive oil or butter.

Bake at 375 Deg°F for 20-25 minutes, until the top is browned.

Sprinkle shredded parmesan after removing from the oven.

Let rest covered for at least 30 minutes before serving.

5. Eat!

There’s no wrong way to eat mac and cheese, it can be a main, a side, a snack, breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

It get’s better the next day, and will feed your many hungry guests (as it did this Thanksgiving).

Happy Holidays everyone!

6. Notes

• Skip the milky roux. You can make a tomato sauce and blend it in the pasta with a lot of cheese. Or go cheese only, but use more cheese and butter, and cut down baking time to roughly ten minutes, until the cheese melts.

• Mix in proteins. This recipe goes well with ground beef, sausages, shrimps, and even lobster. Pre-cook the meats and combine in the mixture before baking.

• Make deep fried mac and cheese balls. Roll left overs into golf sized balls. Dip in beaten eggs, roll in bread crumbs, and deep fry for 3-5 minutes until golden brown.

When I go to heaven, I know what I’ll request when I pass the gates:

A body that can withstand 777°F and 20,000 psi of pressure, and a river of oil maintained at 375°F. I want to float in that river every afternoon, fish out and eat deep fried everything, then take a nice long nap.

Until then, I will continue my deep frying using conventional methods.

This recipe takes standard everyday vegetables and gives them what they deserve — chopping vegetables into a salad is rabbit food, roasting makes them an afterthought, but deep frying gives them the independence they’ve never had.

This is one of my favorites and includes some chicken for good measure.

1. Gather your ingredients

• Zucchini, cauliflower, potatoes, and tomatoes. Ideally purchased clandestinely from an overpriced ‘farmers’ market.

• 1 lb. of chicken thighs or breasts.

• Vegetable or Canola oil.

• One cup of flour.

• Stale bread, or one cup of store-bought panko/breadcrumbs.

• 2 cloves garlic.

• 2 eggs.

2. Chop and prep the vegetables

Pick off the cauliflower florets from the stalk by hand.

Slice the zucchini lengthwise.

Slice the tomatoes into 1” horizontal slices.

Salt everything liberally and cover for 30 minutes.

Cut the potatoes into 0.25” discs or rectangular fries. Soak in ice water for at least an hour.

Finely chop two cloves of garlic.

3. Make the breadcrumbs

Bake the bread in a 350°F oven for 5-7 minutes until brown.

Chop in a food processor or pound in a plastic bag until crumbly.

Set aside.

4. Prepare the chicken

Put the chicken in a plastic bag and pound with a mallet until flat. If you don’t have a mallet, use a baking dish, or make a fist and pound with your palms.

Rince the chicken in cold water and pat dry. Salt liberally.

Set up a station from left to right with a plate, bowl, then plate.

Add the flour to the left plate, crack two eggs and stir in the bowl, and the breadcrumbs in the third plate.

Spice the flour with a teaspoon each of salt, pepper, and paprika.

Working left to right, dip the chicken in the flour, then the eggs, lift up to let the excess liquid drip off, then coat with the bread crumbs.

Repeat until you coat all the chickens.

You can also do a flour, egg, flour sequence if you run out of (or don’t have) breadcrumbs.

5. Deep fry

Heat 2 inches of vegetable oil in a cast iron pan or pot on medium high to 375°F and prepare to deep fry.

Double up the pans if available to finish faster (only if you can handle two simultaneous flammable sources).

Cook the vegetables, starting with the potatoes, then cauliflower and zucchini.

Potatoes need to be golden brown, zucchini and cauliflower need to get soft with golden brown edges.

Use paper towel layers for the cooked vegetables and keep warm in a 170°F oven.

Cook the chicken until golden brown and cooked through, use a meat thermometer to double check, 170°F+ and crispy outside means done.

Leave the tomatoes for last because they mess up the oil. Or skip them altogether. Although if you’ve never tried fried tomatoes, you really should.

Place the tomatoes in the fryer and sprinkle the chopped garlic. Fry for 2-3 mins total. There’s no real doneness here, avoid overcooking or they become a soggy mess.

Remove the tomatoes with a slotted spoon and clear out all the gunk.

Increase the heat to high and drop the potatoes in for a minute to crisp them up (optional step).

5. Eat!

Make tahini sauce for dip (I didn’t have any).

Chop up cucumbers and tomatoes with parsley, lemon juice, olive oil and salt for a simple side salad, then eat everything with some good pita bread.

Allot some nap time and update your heavenly wishes.

6. Notes

• Deep frying isn’t really that unhealthy. Using high smoking-point oils like sunflower or peanut, avoiding thick coatings or batters, and keeping the temperature at 375°F will minimize oil absorption. Deep frying every 4-6 weeks can be part of a generally healthy diet and a much happier life.

• Try other vegetables. Eggplants, mushrooms, broccoli, carrots. Anything you roast can be deep fried.

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Three things make up a good Sunday: rest, questioning your life choices, and a good meal.

On a recent Sunday, having been in town long enough to deplete my food inventories but with no desire to fight the weekend grocery crowds, I was on the verge of having trail-mix for dinner.

Turned out that all I needed to avoid a food crisis was some protein, a bit of fat, lots of salt, and a positive attitude.

Here’s what I made.

1. Gather your ingredients

After looking through the fridge and all my cabinets, here’s what I came up with:

• 1 lb. Spaghetti

• 2 cloves garlic

• 1 lb. jumbo shrimps, be-headed

• Broccoli and cauliflower florets

• Olive oil

• Red wine vinegar

• Capers (optional)

• Spicy yuzu sauce

• Juice of half a lemon

• Parmesan cheese (or any crumbly cheese)

• Arugula (returned to the fridge un-used)

2. De-poop the shrimps

Shrimp are nasty but delicious creatures.

As my grandma used to say, they are the cockroaches of the sea.

She wouldn’t touch them with a 6-foot pole.

If you’ve ever cleaned a sizeable shrimp, you would know why she thought that. If you haven’t, then hopefully you’ve been buying them cleaned, otherwise you’ve ingested a lot of shrimp feces.

To clean the critters, peel the skin, slice along the middle of the back with a sharp knife, pull out the dark matter, rinse, and repeat.

3. Boil the water and pre-cook the vegetables

Bring a large pot of water to a boil, add a quarter cup of salt.

Heat a non-stick or cast-iron pan on medium-high.

Add a tablespoon of olive oil, cook the broccoli and cauliflower for a couple of minutes, add two ounces of water, increase the heat and cover for 3 more minutes.

Set the vegetables aside.

4. Cook the shrimps and the pasta

Cook the pasta in the boiling water for 8-10 minutes (or as long as it says on the packet).

Slice two cloves of garlic thinly.

Add a tablespoon of olive oil to the hot pan.

Add the garlic and the shrimp, don’t overcrowd the shrimp, and let cook for around 3 minutes until they start turning pink.

Flip the shrimps and cook for another 1-2 minutes, until they are opaque and slightly browned.

Don’t overcook shrimp, it will lose a lot of water and become rubbery.

Transfer the cooked shrimps to a plate.

5. Bring it all together

Mix two tablespoons of yuzu with two tablespoons of grated parmesan, lemon juice, and a splash of red-wine vinegar.

Add two tablespoons of olive oil to the pan.

Transfer the pasta from the pot with tongs, don’t worry about draining it, the water will help with the sauce.

Add the yuzu mix and a tablespoon of capers, stir until everything is combined.

6. Eat

Serve the pasta in a plate and top with the cooked shrimp, capers, extra grated parmesan cheese, and some chili flakes for good measure.

Season the cooked vegetables with olive oil and salt, and eat.

The third pillar of your Sunday is now restored.

Labor day is upon us, this dish is one of significant labor.

I am quite far from perfecting it as it requires multiple closely coordinated steps, operating in a vacuum while it cooks, and finally a perfectly coordinated flip of a large and hot cooking vessel.

I also always forget to garnish it with fried nuts.

This meal will complement your long weekend nicely if you choose to stray from the open fire.

1. Gather your ingredients

• 4-6 pounds of chicken, mix of thighs and drumsticks, skin-on.

• 1 head cauliflower.

• 1 onion.

• 4 cloves garlic.

• 1 tablespoon turmeric, 3 cardamom pods, 1 stick of cinnamon, 1 tablespoon salt, and 1 teaspoon black pepper.

• 4-5 small potatoes.

• 2 large tomatoes.

• 2.5 cups of rice.

• 4 cups of water or stock.

2. Caramelize the onions

Caramelizing onions is a pain, it takes forever and is very finicky. But when it works it’s magic.

Chop the onions, and cook them over low heat in olive oil for 30-45 minutes.

Stir and watch closely, they burn very quickly, as you can see in the pic below.

3. Roast the cauliflower and pre-bake the potatoes

You can deep fry if you’d like, but roasting or air frying works equally well.

Remove the cauliflower core with a sharp knife, then pick off the florets by hand. This is the cleanest and easiest way to go.

Roast at 375°F for 30 minutes or until golden brown.

Slice the potatoes into half inch thick slices. Splash some olive oil and bake at 350°F for 15 minutes.

3. Brown and par-cook the chicken

Heat a Dutch oven on medium high with a table spoon of olive oil.

Brown the chicken pieces skin down for 5-7 minutes until the skin is brown.

Work in batches until complete.

Return the chickens to the pot, add a cup of water, drop the heat to medium, cover the pot and simmer for 15 minutes.

Move the chicken to a plate.

4. Layer the ingredients and cook

Slice the tomatoes, and line them on the Dutch oven, then layer the potatoes.

Wash the rice and drop half of it in the pot.

Layer the cauliflowers with the chicken.

Add the turmeric, salt, pepper and cardamom, and cinnamon stick.

Wrap the cardamom and cinnamon stick in a cheesecloth to make fishing them out easier.

Add the garlic cloves.

Add the rest of the rice.

Top with the water (or stock), make sure it covers all the rice. If it doesn’t, add half a cup at a time until it does.

Set the oven at 350°F, cover the Dutch oven and cook for 30 minutes, raise the temperature to 450°F and cook for another 10 minutes.

Remove for the oven and let rest covered for at least 30 minutes.

5. Flip and eat

Wear good oven mitts, remove the lid, and place a large pan on the Dutch oven.

With one hand above the pan, and the other below the pot. Perform a quick flip and set the pan on the table.

Be very careful here, many have lost their food to the floor while performing this feat.

if you are uncomfortable, you can spoon out into serving bowls, but that is the feeble way.

Slowly remove the pot to reveal your creation.

Serve with salad or yogurt, and Eat!

                               HAPPY LABOR DAY TO ALL 

Notwithstanding the fact that you’re eating an undeveloped baby, eggs are a pleasantly convenient and delicious food.

Chickens love to lay them, and we love eating them.

I was a picky eater as a child (not anymore) but loved eating eggs, they’re the first thing I learned to make and still consume feverishly to this day.

Sushi masters take years to perfect tamago (egg sushi) , I don’t take my eggs that seriously, but I despise overcooked dry eggs.

It’s not hard to make a good egg dish, here are my favorites.

1. Gather your ingredients

• Lots of eggs

• Olive oil

• Cheese

• Onions, peppers, mushrooms

• Salt and pepper

2. Simple Fried Eggs

I like mine with a crispy bottom and runny yolks. 

Heat a non-stick pan on medium with two table spoons of olive oil (enough to coat the pan).

Crack the eggs in when the pan is still cold. The eggs will cook as the pan heats up.

When the whites are set and the bottom is brown, remove the eggs with a spatula, or just glide them off the pan.

If you want over-easy without flipping the eggs and risking a rupture, throw in a shot of water and cover the pan for 2 minutes, then remove from the heat.

Season with salt and paprika and a splash of olive oil from the pan.

3. Scrambled eggs

Good scrambled eggs need fat - I use olive oil, butter or vegetable oil will do. Enough to coat the pan or more if you like them fattier.

Crack 4-6 eggs in a bowl and stir them vigorously with a fork.

Heat a non-stick pan on low heat and add the fat.

Add the eggs in, and stir continuously using a spatula.

Don’t stir vigorously, use a slow folding motion.

The eggs will slowly cook and start to solidify.

Take them off the heat when they still look slightly wet. They will continue to cook off the heat.

You can throw in an extra dab of butter or a shot of cream in the end.

I just add salt.

4. Boiled Eggs

I don’t have many ‘pet peeves’, I’ve learned to rid myself of many along the years, but I will never stand for farty eggs.

Overboiling eggs releases sulfur from the egg whites that reacts with the iron in the yolks, this produces a compound that makes the yolks greenish and emits a flatulent odor.

If someone serves your greenish boiled eggs, throw them on the floor and demand a re-do.

To avoid that fate at home, start your eggs in a pot with cold water, enough to cover the eggs.

Cover and set the heat to high until you get a rolling boil. Let boil for 3 minutes, this will set the whites, then remove the pot from the heat.

Leave the eggs in the water for a minimum of 4-6 minutes for soft yolks, or 8-10 minutes for hard boiled eggs.

Immediately wash the eggs under cold water to stop the cooking.

Peel, slice, top with some olive oil and salt, and eat.

5. Omelets

This is probably the hardest form of egg cookery.

Don’t go crazy with the ingredients, use a good non-stick pan, keep the heat low, and you should be ok.

Heat two pans on medium heat.

Use one for your stuffing ingredients.

Chopped onions, peppers, mushrooms, and spinach are a good go-to.

Or just skip them and keep it plain or cheesy.

Cook the ingredients for 7 minutes and transfer to a plate.

Crack 3-5 eggs in a bowl and whisk vigorously - this is an important step, the more air you get into the eggs the fluffier they’ll be without adding much fat.

Do this step just before you pour the eggs into the hot pan.

Once the eggs are in the pan, let them cook covered and undisturbed for 3-5 minutes.

Check the bottom with a spatula, it should be light golden brown and most of the eggs should have set. If not, let cook for another 2 minutes and re-check.

Add the ingredients to the middle of omelets, sprinkle mozzarella or your favorite chopped cheese , then fold over using a spatula.

If the egg breaks at this point, don’t worry, just finish the flip, cover for another minute, remove from the heat, and serve.

6. Egg Cake

This is a modifier to the omelet. Some people call it a quiche but that’s just silly.

If you have lots of eggs and a good cast iron or oven-safe pan, this is really easy to make.

Lightly oil the pan and heat on medium/high.

Crack 8-10 eggs into a bowl and whisk vigorously.

Throw the eggs in and let them cook for roughly 5 minutes until the bottom sets, then add whatever cooked or uncooked leftover ingredients you have; chopped vegetables, shrimps, wilted spinach, baked potato slices, all work.

Roughly a cup is enough.

Don’t forget to throw in chunks of your favorite cheese and add salt.

Heat your oven to 335°F, bake for 15-20 minutes until the eggs are fully cooked.

Flip onto a serving plate, cut into cake pieces, and eat.

Aside from the ones responsible for the continuity of all mammalian species (although they are technically oval), useful naturally occurring ball structures are quite rare.

Balls are usually full of hot air, get tossed around for no apparent reason, and are really hard to stabilize on anything that’s not perfectly level.

Meatballs are a stark exception; they are delicious and really easy to make.

All you need is some ground meat, spices, and the dexterity to create (mostly) uniform shapes.

Here is my recipe.

1. Gather your ingredients

For the meatballs

• 2 lbs. of fatty ground meats. I use a mix of ground beef and prime rib.

• 1 teaspoon each of paprika, cumin, black pepper, zaatar, and ground cardamom.

• 1 tablespoon of harissa or any red chili paste (optional).

• 1/2 onion finely chopped.

• 1 celery stalk.

• 2 cloves of garlic.

• Salt.

For the tomato sauce

• 2 large cans of tomatoes, preferably San Marzano.

• 1 small can of tomato paste.

• 3 cloves of garlic.

• 1/2 cup olive oil.

• 1/2 onion finely chopped.

• 1/4 cup each of chopped carrot and celery (optional).

For the homemade pasta

• 2 eggs.

• 200 grams of all-purpose flour.

2. Roll the balls

Finely chop the garlic, celery, and onion.

Add a teaspoon each of cumin, paprika, black pepper, and cardamom to a large bowl.

Add one tablespoon each of salt and harissa (or chili paste).

Crumble the meat onto the spice mixture, put on prostate exam gloves, and mix everything together thoroughly.

Form back to a large round ball and let sit for a few minutes.

Preheat your oven to 450°F.

Prep a large baking sheet with a tablespoon of olive oil, use parchment paper to prevent sticking.

Take a golf ball sized piece of meat and roll it gently between your palms until round. Be quick and decisive with your rolls, without applying too much pressure.

Bake in the oven for 20 minutes or until the meat is browned, then set aside.

3. Cook in tomato sauce

This method is similar to my pasta sauce recipe.

Chop onions and garlic (I used celery and carrots because I had them).

Heat a quarter cup of olive oil on medium in a heavy bottomed pot, add the chopped ingredients and cook for 5 minutes.

Add two large cans of tomatoes, two tablespoons of tomato paste, a tablespoon of balsamic or red wine vinegar, and salt to taste (at least a tablespoon).

Drop the heat to low, cover, and simmer for 45 minutes.

Dunk the meatballs in and cook for another 30 minutes.

Your meatballs are now done, you can eat them as is, with rice, bread, or you can continue as you’re supposed to and make some pasta.

4. Make the pasta

You can take the lazy route and cook a pound of store-bought spaghetti in a large pot of salted boiling water.

Or

You can make your own pasta.

Crack two eggs into your food processor, and add 200 grams of all-purpose flour1

Pulse until the ingredients until you get a solid dough.

Move the dough to a flat surface, kneed for a couple of minutes, then cover tightly with plastic wrap and let sit at room temperature for at least an hour.

Flatten the dough with your hand, cut into two pieces and run through a pasta maker. I stop at the halfway setting on my Atlas to make spaghetti.

Dust with flour or semolina as you work the dough to prevent sticking.

Run through the cutter and cover with a clean tea towel while you work the second (or third) batch.

Add a quarter cup of salt to a pot of water, bring to a boil, and cook the pasta for 2-4 minutes until it floats to the top.

Fresh pasta cooks very quickly, the best way to test for doneness is to take a bite and see if you like it.

Heat a pan to medium, combine the pasta with tomato sauce, then serve on a plate and add a few balls of meat.

Load the plate with grated parmesan, and eat with bread and your choice of greens (or not).

6. Notes

• Use any spices you like with the meat. Salt and pepper are enough. Oregano works instead of zaatar, feel free to skip the cardamom altogether.

• If you use lean meats like chicken or turkey, add two tablespoons of olive oil and crack an egg into the mixture; lean meats don’t bind well and are best avoided in tasty dishes.

• Meatballs taste much better the second day. Make ahead and cover overnight in the fridge, then reheat on stovetop at medium heat for 10-15 minutes.

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Most cultures have a form of ground meat mixed with whatever is conveniently laying around, then baked in a fire.

Ours is called Kofta — it has onions, parsley, and spices and is doused in a thick tahini sauce.

Kofta is easy to make and gets better in left over form.

Here’s the recipe.

1. Gather your ingredients

For the beef

• 2.5 pounds of ground beef, or mix of beef and lamb. 20% fat minimum.

• 1 large onion

• 2 cloves garlic

• 1 bunch parsley

• 4 medium potatoes

• Cumin, salt, pepper, paprika

• 1 tablespoon of red chili paste (optional)

• Olive oil

For the Tahini sauce

• 2 cups tahini

• 1/2 cup lemon juice

• 1 cup water

• 2 teaspoon salt

2. Chop the vegetables

Wash the potatoes and slice them horizontally.

Finely chop the onion and parsley and crush the garlic cloves. Try to avoid the thick part of the parsley stalks.

In a bowl, mix the meat with the parsley, onions, and garlic. Add the chili paste (if using), a tablespoon of salt, and liberally spice with the cumin and paprika. Roughly 2 teaspoons each.

Use your hands to mix everything together and shape into a ball. Cover with plastic wrap and let sit in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.

3. Make the tahini sauce

Mix the water, lemon juice, salt, and tahini together. Adjust the mixture to get a creamy texture that pours easily.

I can never get this right, as long as it tastes good you should be ok. Aim for a slightly runnier texture since it will thicken when baked.

4. Two -hase bake

Line the potatoes in a 13x9 baking dish, splash some olive oil, then flatten the meat evenly on top of the potatoes.

Bake uncovered at 400°F for 20 minutes.

Remove from the oven and check the fat / liquid level. You can dispose half the liquid if you prefer a less fatty texture, otherwise just add the tahini sauce and spread it evenly.

Cover tightly with foil, drop the temperature to 330°F and bake for another 40 minutes.

Remove from the oven and check for doneness, the meat should be cooked through and the potatoes should be soft. If not, bake for another 10 minutes.

Let it cool for 15 minutes.

5. Eat!

Slice into large rectangular pieces and serve on a plate, pour some more tahini sauce and serve with salad and lots of bread.

6. Notes

• If you’re not using tahini, line the top of the meat with sliced tomatoes and onions and follow the same recipe.

• You can roll the meat into individual ‘finger’ shaped cylinders. This takes a bit more time to prepare but provides more surface contact with the sauce.

• Experiment with spices you like. Cardamom, cinnamon, turmeric, black and white pepper all work with meat.

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I went up to see my brother and his family in BC, my first time back since driving up there almost a year ago with the Homer. My sister in law is Tunisian, and always makes me one of my favorite sandwiches in the world when I visit — the Fricasse’.

She did all the work while I watched and tried to take pictures that she re-took. This guest post documents her process with some uncolorful commentary.

1. Gather your ingredients

For the dough:

• 500 grams all purpose flour (Canada uses the metric system)

• 330 grams of warm water

• 1.5 tablespoons of active dry yeast (Pizza yeast packets recommended)

• 1 tablespoon of olive oil

• 1 tablespoon of salt

• 1 tablespoon baking powder

• 2 eggs

• Sunflower or vegetable oil for frying

For the sandwich fillings:

• 6 cans (480 grams) of Rio Mare tuna cans*

• 1/4 cup of Tunisian Harissa**

• 5 eggs

• 4 large potatoes

• 2 tablespoon of olive oil

* I returned groceries for the first time in my life because I didn’t follow instructions and bought a different brand of tuna. If you are in a Tunisian home, do as you are told. If not, you can sub with high quality tuna in olive oil and you’ll be fine (my unauthorized opinion).

** This one cannot be subbed, you must have Tunisian harissa or the sandwich falls apart. The harissa is the rug that ties the room together. Look hard enough and you’ll find it. I linked the best brand above.

2. Make the dough

The dough recipe is similar to my flatbread / pizza dough recipe, except for one crucial addition: 2 lightly beaten eggs, added to the mixing bowl in the beginning with the yeast. As stated above, do not question Tunisian logic, the eggs do something magical to the dough.

Add the flour, salt, and baking powder to the bowl of a stand mixer and mix slowly to incorporate, then add the water gradually. Throw in the tablespoon of olive oil halfway through, and continue until you’ve added all the water.

Increase the speed and let the dough knead for 8-10 minutes, until you get a nice smooth ball that lightly sticks to the sides.

Remove the dough to a clean surface, give it a few cupping rolls, and place it in a clean bowl. Apply a dab of olive oil and cover with plastic wrap or a clean tea towel and let rise for roughly an hour, until the dough doubles in size.

Prepare the rest of the ingredients while you wait.

3. Make the fillings

Boil the potatoes in salted water for ~30 minutes, until a fork easily pierces through. Let them cool then peel off the skin, and mash with a tablespoon of olive oil and salt to taste. Cover with foil to keep warm.

Boil the eggs in a pot. I like to start in cold water and use medium high heat. Once the water boils I let it go for roughly 2 minutes so that the whites harden, then I drop the heat to very low and let the eggs simmer for 6-8 minutes.

This method prevents the “farty egg” phenomenon — where overboiling eggs results in the breakdown of proteins and release of hydrogen sulfide gas (a poisonous gas that smells like flatulence, or rotten eggs!). This gas migrates from the whites to the yolk and reacts with the iron to form ferrous sulfide, hence the greenish color.

I prefer to have undercooked yolks than to suffer farty eggs, the only risk being that the whites don’t set properly, then you’re kind of screwed. If you see this when peeling the first egg put them all back in a pot of boiling water for another couple of minutes and the whites will set.

If you are not as particular about your eggs as I am, just boil the crap out of them for 6-8 minutes and be done with it.

Wash them under cold water, peel them (one of my most despised activities), and slice horizontally.

Mix the harissa with olive oil and a splash of water, the goal is to make a slightly runny sauce that’s easy to pour.

Empty the canned tuna in a bowl and mash lightly with a fork.

4. Fry the dough

Roll the dough out until it’s flat and roughly a centimeter thick. Portion with a metal ring or cup, then reshape into rectangles.

Recombine the cutouts by rolling them into a ball and flattening, then repeat the process until you run out of dough.

Let rest for 5-10 minutes for the final rise.

Heat 3 centimeters of vegetable oil in a large pot to 375°F and fry the dough until golden brown. Don’t overcrowd the pan and flip the dough to cook both sides.

Make a slit through the buns when they’re still warm, and place on a serving plate.

5. Assemble the sandwiches and eat

Now for the best part: stuffing the sandwiches.

Apparently you must follow this sequence or your sandwiches will be cursed:

Start with smearing mashed potatoes across the opening, then add as much harissa as you can tolerate, then some tuna, and finally a slice of the boiled eggs. Finish with more harissa if you like (I always do).

I think a salad would go well as a side, because I always end up filling my stomach with 8-10 sandwiches then passing out.

Good luck maintaining any discipline with this meal.